wonder

Finn at 3 years old ~ photo by Larisa

Wonder shining in my eyes
Like I’m three years old

~ David Gray
♫ (Heart & Soul) ♫

One of the things that has helped me get through this pandemic — besides taking walks with my husband, working on jigsaw puzzles, practicing yoga, video calling with friends and family, blogging — has been listening for hours on end to the music streaming on my favorite indie radio station. Hearing some songs, like David Gray’s Heart & Soul, will forever bring me back to these days. Will it be possible that in the future some of us will look back on this time with a tinge of bittersweet nostalgia?

23 thoughts on “wonder”

  1. A nice post. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could retain the wonder in life like a small child does. We all want these troubling times over. Perhaps we will all learn to appreciate life more – if and when our lives become more normal again.

    1. Thank you, Peggy. I know I feel that sense of wonder when I’m taking a walk in nature and see things I never paid attention to before. It’s been a gift returning to the simple pleasures in life. I hope this stays with me as we return to “normal.”

  2. I think it will, Barbara. Strange thing – there has been a full opening in Norway since most of us were fully vaccinated. And now there are LOTS more hospitalizations- and maybe not so strangely, I feel safer – since now more of us will be more present and taking care more

    1. I do hope more of us will be more present and careful now, Leelah. In our town we still are required to wear masks indoors in public buildings and I think it’s a good thing. People are still being hospitalized and are still dying, mostly the unvaccinated. We got our booster shots — are they giving booster shots to the elderly in Norway? It’s been nice not catching colds or the flu so I think I will keep wearing my mask for a good long time!

  3. I appreciated your musings on the pandemic, Barbara, and have had similar thoughts. Although we cannot know what the future will bring and how we will look back on these life-altering times, I think your ability to find peace in it is a remarkable thing. That’s the one thing we CAN do, is learn how to find peace and get through it, and I thank you for inspiring me.

    1. You’re welcome, Jet. The whole experience has been a lesson in living with uncertainty and learning to appreciate anew and re-focus on the simple pleasures in life. I think I’ve learned more about gratitude, too, because we are retired with an income we didn’t have to go out into the world and risk our lives as much as a lot of people did. And thankfully, we didn’t lose anyone close to us, although some got very sick and have lingering symptoms to cope with.

  4. I think we have all been affected and changed by this pandemic, for how could we not? What I’ve learned about myself is that I kind of like being a homebody! I’m pretty sure that is the way I will stay, too. Of course, I may go to movies and restaurants again, but I’m content with the slower pace of life.

    1. The homebody in me enjoyed that part of the pandemic, too, Eliza! My husband is getting out more now that he’s had his booster shot but I’m still thoroughly enjoying the slower pace of life, as you say. Getting out for our walks is all the excitement I need!

  5. I have–strangely–felt very safe for the past six months or so. We hear of vaccinated folks getting sick and being hospitalized but they are much less than the unvaccinated. At some point we will all have to decide when it feels safe enough to put down our guard–for some of us it will be sooner than others. Covid may be one of Rumi’s guest house visitors for years to come. So many factors to consider. I have always thought I would think back nostalgically to the cocooned feeling of the pandemic, but I don’t get much nostalgia about anything anymore. It’s like this moment is what’s shining now. But I can feel such a range of emotions that came forward to be met during the pandemic–from fear, to grief, to anger, to sadness, to contentment and even happiness. Thanks for providing the space for all of us to think about it today, Barbara.

    1. PS because I feel very safe, that doesn’t mean that we won’t get covid. I’m very clear that could happen at any time. Our neighbors to the left all had it recently and possible the neighbor on the right, too, although that has not been confirmed. They were all unvaccinated.

      1. You’re welcome, Kathy. That range of emotions you mention, yes, I have felt them all, too! But I have yet to feel safe. Someone used seat belts as an illustration for vaccination. Seat belts offer some protection in an accident but you still might get hurt. So we drive carefully even though we have our seatbelts on. I still fear getting in a car crash and I suppose I will always remain afraid of covid because of my particular fear of not being able to breathe. I wonder how long I will cling to my mask as my seatbelt…

        I think of my father and his sisters when they used to reminisce about living though the Great Depression. There were some good times mixed in with the hardships. It was something the whole nation went through together and I think that’s how this pandemic is similar. We all have difficult periods in our lives, but not always all at the same time as everyone else.

        1. I think it will take some time for many of us humans to feel safe. The seat belt analogy is a good one. Thinking today about our individual nervous systems and their different fears and safety feelings. 💗

  6. You make a good point, Barbara, but I’m just not there yet. I’m still ranting and railing over all this pandemic has taken from us — people, of course, but also our sense of security, our confidence in our elected officials to speak truthfully to us, and our faith in the medical system to protect and heal us. Like you, I’m taking comfort in what I do have — family and friends, meaningful work, my interests and hobbies — and I find myself turning ever closer to religion to help me make sense of all this.

    1. It’s so true, we have all suffered great losses and anger is a necessary and appropriate part of the grieving process. I suspect a lot of us will never take the things you mention for granted again. It’s interesting that you’re turning closer to religion. I found myself being drawn to celebrating the wheel of the year, always with a new season to look forward to. Not sure why it helps. Maybe reassures me that nothing “bad” lasts forever. I feel the presence and guidance of my ancestors more strongly than ever since the pandemic started. It’s very grounding for me.

  7. For those of us that enjoyed walking and being outside in nature, the pandemic only made us appreciate it all the more. I am grateful that we both have had the ability to get out and have some normalcy again through our walks. I am a homebody and since I live alone anyway and work from home, that aspect of staying in and worries about people coming to your home and spreading germs was not there. But, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable in a crowd again. I won’t be participating in any 5Ks next year – I will support Fish & Loaves and register, but I don’t want to be with a lot of people. Michigan today has the dubious honor of being the second hot spot in the nation with the COVID fourth surge – over two days, we had 15,878 new COVID-19 cases and 83 additional virus deaths. Even with my booster shot three weeks ago, I am still uneasy and will continue to mask up.

    1. I doubt I will ever feel comfortable in a crowd again. Like you, even though we’ve had our boosters, we’re still wearing masks inside public places and have not gone into anyone else’s house yet. Our son and daughter-in-law were up from Georgia last week and we had them in the house for a couple of hours but kept our masks on, even though we’re all vaccinated. We even hugged, masks on. 🙂 (They were staying with her relatives.) It was a tentative step but it felt so good! The numbers going up again is alarming and so I’m content to keep things as they are, playing it safe and enjoying our nature walks to keep me sane. I don’t blame you for avoiding the 5Ks. Do they still have the option of doing it by yourself in another area? I keep telling Tim I don’t want these walks to end when the pandemic is over, if it ever ends…

      1. I really don’t want to be around anyone Barbara and since no one is coming into the house and I’ve got no relatives, I am pretty safe, but just as soon as I step outside the house I mask up. I wore my mask when the tech was here for the furnace and when my handyman comes for the gutter in a few weeks and I only speak to him at the door. I am glad to be done with the grocery shopping for pantry items for Winter – I do not want to venture out. Nature walks are our balm to keep us content during this pandemic and I don’t see the pandemic ending any time soon, just as you feel. I did several virtual 5Ks for charity this year – the 5K to raise money for a large no-kill shelter was not virtual so I didn’t go. I will only do the Fish & Loaves Food Pantry next year and if it is on-site at Heritage Park, I’ll register, pay, but won’t go. At the grocery store, very few people were masked up, including the store personnel. I am not taking a chance and I certainly don’t blame you and Tim as you have underlying health conditions – why tempt fate? If anything good came out of the pandemic, it was getting more enjoyment out of our nature walks than ever before.

        1. I was wondering if you got your winter pantry shopping done. It must be a good feeling getting all tucked in for the winter. That’s too bad people aren’t using their masks at the grocery store. Even though our town just lifted the indoor mask mandate so far most people are still wearing their masks at the grocery store. We’ll see how long that lasts. Or maybe it’s because we shop on weekdays and most of the others shopping at that time are cautious, too. Come to think of it, most of the store personnel were masked, too. So grateful that we had the freedom to be outside and didn’t have the complete lockdown some places in Europe and China had.

          1. I just got it finished and I’m usually done much sooner, but today the stats are even worse – they compared them to April 2020! I don’t like that at all. I am glad I can go before work if need be, but I did the bulk of the groceries on the weekend this Fall, taking one weekend day for myself and the other to deal with that and the weather didn’t always cooperate either … lots of rain. I know you were following Andy Finnegan from the UK with the shorebirds – they had the total lockdown so he started a garden in his backyard and got a lot of flower and insect shots, then as they opened a little, he put out trail camera until his favorite shoreline spots were open again.

          2. That just goes to show that photographers will always find something to shoot! 🙂
            Took a peak at the CDC map and it looks like things are much worse in Michigan than they are here — for now. It keeps changing as that cursed virus keeps bouncing around. An endless whack-a-mole game.

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