Elm Grove Cemetery

williamwhite-portrait
William Martin White

Located just a few miles from where we live, Elm Grove Cemetery (197 Greenmanville Ave, Mystic, Connecticut) is where at least eight of my ancestors lie buried. The most recent gravestone belongs to my 2nd-great-grandfather, William Martin White, and his second wife, Martha Bennett. I didn’t grow up in this area and it’s a bit of synchronicity that without knowing it, not long after I married, we moved to the area where so many of my ancestors lived and died.

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William Martin White, son of Austin and Lucy Ann (Thompson) White, was born 15 November 1836 in Stonington (New London) Connecticut, and died 18 November 1925 in Fairhaven (Bristol) Massachusetts. He married (as his first wife) 30 October 1860 in Methodist Episcopal Church, Mystic (New London) Connecticut, his first cousin, Ellen C. Hill, who was probably born about 1844 in Stonington, daughter of Rufus and Lydia (White) Hill. William and Ellen were divorced on 26 September 1876.

William worked both as a sailor and a farmer. For most of his life he lived at what is now 347 New London Turnpike in Old Mystic. It used to be called Old Turnpike Rd. William married his cousin, Ellen, who had also been living in the same household with her parents, his aunt and uncle, in 1860. Ellen was living with her parents by 1860, when she was about 16 years old. However, she was not living with her parents in 1850, according to the census, when she was 6 years old.

The marriage was apparently troubled. In August 1865 the following item appeared in The Stonington Chronology 1649-1949:

A scandalous month-while Wm M White of Wolf Neck, Stonington, was on a fishing voyage, his wife eloped with a gay deceiver named Pendleton who is also a deserter from the regular army. She left 2 children, one 6 mos. old, and took with her $500.

It seems that the couple reconciled for a while, and had three more sons together, but finally were divorced after almost 16 years of marriage. William had custody of the boys and the youngest, Samuel, was told that his mother had died. However, on the 1880 census, Ellen, age 38, was residing in the Poor House of Stonington, identified as a “widow,” and had with her two young illegitimate children, born after she was divorced from William. Their birth records contain statements from William denying paternity.

Sadly, I have no idea what became of my 2nd-great-grandmother Ellen.

After the divorce, William married (as his second wife) Martha Bennett, born 27 July 1849 and died 16 April 1921, daughter of Henry and Caroline (—) Bennett. William’s last residence was 67 Pleasant St. in Fairhaven (Bristol) Massachusetts, and he died there of arteriosclerosis with senility. Perhaps he was living with a son.

In the summer of 1999, my grandfather, John White, and I visited the house of his grandfather, William White, at 347 New London Turnpike in Stonington, then owned by Millicent House Goodman, who very kindly showed us around. Grandfather had only seen it one time when he was a boy. He remembered coming to Mystic by train with his father and two brothers, and then taking the trolley to Old Mystic and then walking “a great stretch” to the house. He slept in the attic with his brothers and saw a sextant there. The next day they went clam digging. They were instructed to call Martha, “Aunt Martha.”

A history of the house William & Martha lived in is recorded in the book, A History of Old Mystic:

In 1717 Samuel Turner purchased land from Ephraim Fellows. He probably had this house built around 1725 when he was courting Rebecca Davison. This house is located on Rt. 184 about ½ mile east of Rt. 201. They were married on March 4, 1727/28. They raised 5 children here and it stayed in their family until 1765. In the Historic Resources Inventory done in 1981 by Blanche Higgins Schroer, she describes the interior as ‘having a large fireplace (brick with granite sides, wooden mantle) East parlor with deep sills and delicate Federal corner cupboard.’ In 1788 it was purchased by Joshua Brown and his wife Joanna Rogers Brown. This couple raised 10 children here and it stayed in the family for 100 years. In 1802 according to an old newspaper “to settle protracted dispute over highway from the Borough to Old Mystic, the country court appointed Benjamin Coit, John Hillhouse and Joshua Huntington to determine its course (the present route) but Joshua Brown’s claim for re-assessment of his land delayed construction and there was much opposition from the people in the northern part of the township since the route by-passed the Road District which was still the center of town.” In 1818 when the Post Road was established with the toll houses, the road went right past their front door. This home has had many owners and in 1981 it was purchased by Mrs. Millicent House. Soon after the ell on the back burned along with part of the house. Mrs. House rebuilt the ell enlarging it yet maintaining its colonial character, at this time she also added height to the upstairs rooms.

Ellen & William were the parents of five sons, all born in Stonington:

1. William Henry White, born 8 February 1862, married Mary Ellen Toomey. William & Mary were the parents of four children.

cemjameswhite062. James Courtland White, born 15 May 1864, died in June 1879, about age 16. In the U.S. Federal Census Mortality Schedules, 1850-1885, states James’ cause of death was a gunshot wound. He lies buried near his father in Elm Grove Cemetery.

3. Walter Price White, born about 1866.

4. Rufus Burton White, born about 1870.

5. Samuel Minor White (my great-grandfather), born 7 July 1873 and died 2 July 1949 in Abington, Massachusetts. He married Emma Flora Atwood, daughter of Reuel Gardner and Louisa Jane (Atwood) Atwood. Samuel & Emma Flora were the parents of three sons.

Ellen was also the mother of two more children:

1. Lydia F. White, born about 1876.

2. John F. White, born about September 1879.

William’s parents, my 3rd-great-grandparents, Austin White (1806-1882) & Lucy Ann (Thompson) White (1808-1852) lie buried together in this plot, too.

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Austin White, son of Oliver and Lydia (—) White, was born 20 August 1806 in Stonington (New London) Connecticut, and died 29 June 1882 in Preston (New London) Connecticut. He married (as his first wife), 19 September 1830 in Groton (New London) Connecticut, Lucy Ann Thompson, who was born 20 August 1808 in North Stonington (New London) Connecticut, and died 29 December 1852 in Stonington, daughter of Elias and Elizabeth “Betsey” (Davis) Thompson.

Austin was a farmer. His marriage to Lucy Ann was performed by Ralph Hurlbutt, Justice-of-the-Peace. Austin married (as his second wife), 31 March 1854 in Stonington, Melissa S. Cole. He married (as his third wife), sometime before the 1880 census, Lydia (—).

Austin & Lucy Ann were the parents of three children:

1. Lydia A. White, born 1833, died 1843.

2. William Martin White (my 2nd-great-grandfather – see above), born 15 November 1836, died 18 November 1925.

3. Rufus C. White, born 6 June 1839, died 16 May 1864, age 24, at Drewry’s Bluff, Virginia. Rufus served as a private in the Union Army, Company E, 21st Infantry Regiment, Connecticut and was killed at the Battle of Drewry’s Bluff. In the 1860 census, Rufus was recorded as a farmer with a personal estate of $100.

Tim & I visited the battle site in May 2000, after reading about the battle, and as a stop on a trip to Florida. The following is from “Stonington’s Forgotten Heroes of 1861-65” by James Boylan:

The second large Stonington unit was Company E of the 21st Infantry Regiment, which was recruited in the summer of 1862 from eastern Connecticut. About seventy Stonington men served in Company E, under Captain Charles T. Stanton, Jr., of Stonington. Like Company G of the Eighth, this company became involved in the fogbound battle of Drewry’s Bluff, in which Stanton was severely wounded, and the siege of Petersburg, where Captain Henry R. Jennings of Stonington was wounded. Partly because its term of service was shorter, it suffered fewer casualties.

My 4th-great-grandparents, Oliver & Lydia (—) White are also buried here.

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Oliver White (c. 1764 -1822)
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Lydia (—) White (c. 1772-1833)

Oliver White, was born about 1764, and died 22 September 1822. He married, Lydia, who was born about 1772, and died 9 February 1833 in Stonington (New London) Connecticut.

It is possible that Oliver was the one born in Salisbury (Litchfield) Connecticut, 25 July 1765, and was perhaps the son of Lawrence and Elizabeth (Vallens) White, but further research is needed to establish a link, if there is one. An Oliver White served in the Revolutionary War, was listed in Zebulon Butler’s 4th Regt. Continental Lines, but there is no probate record for him in Sharon or deeds found in Salisbury.

Lydia & Oliver were the parents of five children:

1. Lydia White (my 3rd-great-grandmother – see below), born about 1798 in Stonington, died there 3 July 1877. She married Rufus Hill, son of Robinson and Lydia (Briggs) Hill, on 24 December 1826. Lydia & Rufus were the parents of at least two children.

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Abby (White) Bennett (1800-1873)

2. Abby White, born 1800, died 27 April 1873. She married Ephraim T. Bennett, who was born 1797 and died 6 March 1876, son of Elisha and Esther (Davis) Bennett. Abby & Ephraim lied buried in the White plot at Elm Grove Cemetery, along with her parents and a brother and sister.

3. Oliver White, born about 1802 in Quenebaugh (Windham) Connecticut. He married 3 January 1830, Eliza Miner, who was born 25 October 1806 in Stonington, daughter of Jesse and Sarah (Hilliard) Miner.

4. Austin White (my 3rd-great-grandfather – see above), born 20 August 1806 in Stonington, and died 29 June 1882. He married Lucy Ann Thompson, daughter of Elias and Elizabeth “Betsey” (Davis) Thompson, on 19 September 1830. Austin & Lucy were the parents of three children.

5. Samuel Minor White, born 12 May 1808, died 11 August 1894 in Sandusky (Erie) Ohio. He married 10 June 1832 in Sandusky, Damaris Pendleton, who was born 5 March 1800 near Westerly (Washington) Rhode Island, and died 6 October 1872 in Sandusky, daughter of Abel Pendleton.

Oliver & Lydia were the parents of another of my 3rd-great-grandparents, Lydia (White) Hill (1798-1877), who is buried here. I don’t know where her husband Rufus (my 3rd great-grandfather) is buried, however, though his wife and parents are all buried here.

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LYDIA,
Wife of
Rufus Hill,
Died July 3, 1877.
Aged 79 Years 2 Mo.
& 11 Ds.
———-
The memory of the just is blessed.
Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do,
do it with thy might for there is no work,
no device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom,
in the grave whither thou goest.

Rufus Hill, son of Robinson and Lydia (Briggs) Hill, was born about 1799 in Connecticut, and died 10 March 1881 in Stonington (New London) Connecticut. He married 24 December 1826 in Stonington, Lydia White, who was born abut 1798 in Stonington, and died there 3 July 1877, daughter of Oliver and Lydia (—) White.

Lydia & Rufus were the parents of two children:

1. Rufus Hill, born about 1839.

2. Ellen C. Hill (my 2nd-great-grandmother), born about 1844.

And lastly, the graves of another set of my 4th-great-grandparents, Robinson Hill & Lydia Briggs. For the longest time I felt frustrated that Lydia was identified only as a “relict” of Robinson Hill. But finally I think I can place her in the Briggs family of Block Island, off the coast of Rhode Island, and so have another place to go looking for gravestones.

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ROBINSON HILL died Feb. 14, 1817. Aged 52 years.
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LYDIA, Relict of Robinson Hill, died Sept. 20, 1848. Aged 81 years.

Robinson Hill, was born about 1765 in Block Island, New Shoreham (Washington) Rhode Island, and died 14 February 1817 in Mystic Bridge (New London) Connecticut. He married in New Shoreham, Lydia Briggs, who was born 21 February 1767 in New Shoreham, and died 20 September 1848 in Mystic Bridge, daughter of Joseph and Marjorie (Dodge) Briggs.

Lydia & Robinson were the parents of:

1. Rufus Hill (my 3rd-great-grandfather), born about 1799 and died 10 March 1881. He married Lydia White, daughter of Oliver and Lydia (—) White. Rufus & Lydia were the parents of two children.

 

Last Revised:  11 January 2019

8 thoughts on “Elm Grove Cemetery”

  1. This history of your ancestors is fascinating, Barbara. I really enjoy (in a way, feel like a voyeur) learning about your 2nd great-grandfather. What a life he lived – sounds like it was rife with emotion and pain while with his first wife, Ellen. And boy, don’t you wonder what her story was, ‘cheating’ on her husband while he was away, leaving her young children, then rejoining the marriage? We think that our ancestors were stodgy and boring and lived life simply. Just not so. Thanks for sharing their history with us here.

    1. You’re welcome, Pam. I’m glad you enjoyed this glimpse into the lives of some of my ancestors. I’ve spent many hours wondering about Ellen. Did she feel trapped in an unhappy marriage? Did she suffer from postpartum depression? Why was she gullible to the charms of the gay deceiver? This took place near the end of the Civil War and this deserter from the regular army may have deserted her, too. What was it like for her to return home with no where else to turn? So many questions… Maybe some day I will learn what eventually became of her.

      1. Or, maybe some day you’ll write her story! I just read the novel Mr. Emerson’s Wife – excellent; it took the reader to that time during 1800s and what it was like for women, even those married to ‘enlightened’ men.

        1. You never know… Thanks for the suggestion – I just put “Mr. Emerson’s Wife” on my Kindle. I’m still reading (and enjoying) “A Severed Wasp,” another one you recommended. Lately reading comes in fits and starts – so much other stuff going on…

  2. Quite the scandal with the wife running off with the “gay deceiver”. Sad she and two children ended up in the poor house.

    I think it wonderful that you are able to visit the graves of your ancestors. Now winter is coming on I find myself delving back into Ancestry on line. It’s quite addictive.

    1. It’s funny, most of the information I discovered about the Whites I found out the old-fashioned way, digging through records at town halls and looking for newspaper articles. But I could not find birth or death records for Ellen, only her appearances in the census records and her marriage record and her name on her children’s birth records.

      So far the only thing I managed to glean from Ancestry was the identity of Robinson Hill’s widow. But I’m addicted to Ancestry, too, and have found lots of ancestors on other branches of the family. 🙂

  3. This history is so fascinating! I would love to know more about my ancestors, but those old archives are not yet all computerized in Finland and Sweden….I know they are working on it so maybe at some point I will be able to find out more.

    1. I know what you mean – I’m in the same boat when it comes to my father’s Ukrainian side of the family. There is also the language barrier. I found my Ukrainian grandfather’s journal but have yet to find a translator to help me. It probably contains at least a few genealogical gems!

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