in the thrall of winter’s solstice

12.7.11 ~ Groton, Connecticut
12.7.11 ~ Groton, Connecticut

Because I am an early bird and a creature of habit, every morning I lay out in little trays our morning prescription meds (4 for Tim and 3 for me) and vitamins. A couple of days ago I suddenly realized that I had just taken most of Tim’s pills and vitamins. The shock paralyzed me for a few moments. Am I losing my mind??? For the rest of the day I worried about the effect his pills would have on me – one of them was definitely just for men – and worried about my brain’s increasing inability to pay attention. A few days later now and I’m still here and breathing so evidently no lasting harm done.

12.19.11 ~ Groton, Connecticut
12.19.11 ~ Groton, Connecticut

I’ve always been too easily startled and confused. And like most dreamers I do spend an inordinate amount of time living in my head. (One reason I was a sympathetic fan of the J.D. character on “Scrubs.”) But this latest episode was most unsettling. And I can’t even remember what thoughts were distracting me when it happened.

Mid-December is thus one of the most positively magical times of the year. Things are possible during December’s darkening days that are not even dreamt of at other spokes of the Wheel of the Year. We should use this magic as a vehicle for deepening our awareness of the world around us and preparing our souls for the ongoing pilgrimage of our lives. A seeker of Wisdom in the thrall of Winter’s Solstice should consider their celebrations as a spiritual pilgrimage or even a quest, during which, through the disciplined use of the spiritual imagination, he or she may encounter one’s own truest self along the way and in communion with Spirit.
~ Montague Whitsel
(The Fires of Yule)

Years ago in therapy I learned that if one feels weird on a particular day for no apparent reason it is sometimes helpful to see if it is an anniversary of some event that has left unresolved feelings lurking around in the subconscious mind. I didn’t have to dig too far to figure it out… But after figuring it out I had to deal with the feelings of regret and sadness and the fact that some situations don’t lend themselves to being neatly settled once and for all. Collateral damage from my spiritual quest… But deepening my awareness of the world around me, and inside my head, has helped.

12.11.11 ~ Preston, Connecticut
12.11.11 ~ Preston, Connecticut

No kids around this year to decorate the Tree so Tim cut a small one and I decorated it myself. Tim’s been working 17 days straight and I’ve been trying out vegan holiday recipes for our Solstice Party. Still haven’t completely settled on a menu. And we’ll be going up to see Dad and Auntie for Christmas. So it will be a subdued holiday season, but that’s OK, I’m content with the blessings we have.

12.11.11 ~ Preston, Connecticut
shake, then bundle ~ 12.11.11 ~ Preston, Connecticut

16 thoughts on “in the thrall of winter’s solstice”

  1. As a fellow dreamer, I can really relate. One day my pre-teen daughter accidentally took one of my pills instead of her own and I really panicked. (She’s a dreamer, too, now that I think of it…) The doctor reassured me that all it would do was make her verrrrry sleepy, which it did, so no harm done. Now we keep those pills in different cupboards entirely!

    I love the view of Cape Cod- what a lovely place to live!

    Best-
    Melissa

    1. Oh, Melissa, it’s good to know you understand! I suppose I could have saved myself a lot of fretting if I had thought to call the doctor as you did. 🙂 Tim suggested we get different colored trays.

      We dream of retiring on Cape Cod…

  2. Hi,
    What a lovely tree, so full, I’m sure you will enjoy putting the decorations on. I always decorate my own tree, I have Xmas music going in the background while doing so, I love it. 🙂

    1. Thanks, Mags – I did enjoy decorating it but I think it still needs some small garlands or bows, perhaps. You and I are of the same mind – loved having the Winter Solstice (Christmas and other seasonal music) playlist playing on my iPod.

  3. Barbara – Because we decided — by intent — to live the spirit of Christmas daily, throughout the year, we haven’t decorated a tree for years. But back in the day when we did…

    … we used three sizes of red metallic hearts, tiny white lights (steady, not blinking), and an angel on the top wearing our Buchanan plaid, and a matching tree skirt of Buchanan plaid. It was extremely simple, but that’s what made it beautiful 🙂

    1. Oh Laurie, your Buchanan plaid Christmas tree sounds beautiful! Simplicity is the key, I agree… That gives me an idea – Tim’s grandmother was a Hamilton and I see there is a Hamilton plaid available. Our son identifies with his Scottish ancestry and he visited Scotland a number of years ago. My wheels are turning! 🙂

    1. Thank you, Sybil! Our lights started malfunctioning so I had to un-decorate it and string new lights and then decorate it again. Phew!

  4. oh my word I think I also would panic if I took Mr F’s pills. But really what’s the worst thing that could happen? You’ll just grow some hair on your face.

    What a sweet little tree.
    I love your Christmas ornaments.

    1. Thank you, Rosie. I put out fewer ornaments this year – going for simplicity…

      Well, I was less worried about unwanted hair growth and more concerned about what organ the pill would shrink since I don’t have a prostate gland! 🙂

  5. Aww.. freaks me out! please be careful dearie – at least when it comes to medicines no risk should be taken. I like the Christmas tree and the decor pieces 🙂 wish you happy holidays!

    1. Thank you, Sonali! Wishing you a joyful holiday, too! 🙂

      Ever since the pill incident I’ve been putting Tim’s tray way back on the counter and putting my tray close to me and my cereal bowl. And double checking…

    1. Thank you, Robin. We both fell in love with this tree instantly and we admired her until we had to take her to be recycled into mulch. I cried when I took off her decorations and cried when we left her at the recycling station. Can’t say why, but she was a special one! *hugs* to you, sister dreamer…

  6. Mmm… I’ve, before now, taken the wrong pills (my own, not someone else’s), though the usual effect is that I don’t have the desired benefit I need had I taken the right ones! If truth be told, there are probably very few medicines that act adversely on a single dose that one would get really bad effects, most have a cumulative effect (but don’t quote me on that!)

    Your “years ago in therapy I learned that if one feels weird on a particular day for no apparent reason it is sometimes helpful to see if it is an anniversary of some event that has left unresolved feelings lurking around in the subconscious mind..” reminds me of when I used to get really severe headaches yearly that no pain killers would ease and that were really dreadful. One day my dad, (a doctor) trying to puzzle it out, had an idea and rushed off to get his diary. He discovered that my yearly headache was an anniversary of a day when I’d got knocked down by a car. From the following year onwards – no anniversary headaches. Weird, isn’t it, the way our minds work?

    I hope you and Tim are having a good festive season, regardless of any other problems, and I particularly hope you have a happy and healthy 2012. Hugs.

    1. Perhaps the idea that I could be so absent-minded bothered me more than the worrying about the effects, though I have a tendency toward hypochondria… I’m sure you’re right about the cumulative effect!

      It is strange how our minds work. Good thing your dad thought to dig deeper and see what was up with your yearly headache! Now I am approaching the age my mother was when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, so I’m trying to stay aware of that possible link to any weird symptoms of anxiety.

      Val, I hope your holidays were merry and bright! Sorry it has taken me so long to get back here…

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