spirit-beams…

"Rocky Mountain" by Albert Bierstadt (1830-1902) German-American Painter

“Rocky Mountain” by Albert Bierstadt

To lovers of the wild, these mountains are not a hundred miles away. Their spiritual power and the goodness of the sky make them near, as a circle of friends.  …  You cannot feel yourself out of doors; plain, sky, and mountains ray beauty which you feel.  You bathe in these spirit-beams, turning round and round, as if warming at a camp-fire.  Presently you lose consciousness of your own separate existence: you blend with the landscape, and become part and parcel of nature.
~ John Muir
(A Thousand-Mile Walk to the Gulf)

pertinent questions…

"Ophelia" by Odilon Redon (1840-1916) French Symbolist Painter & Printmaker

“Ophelia” by Odilon Redon

How important are looks and popularity?  How do I care for myself and not be selfish?  How can I be honest and still be loved?  How can I achieve and not threaten others?  How can I be sexual and not a sex object?  How can I be responsive but not responsible for everyone?
~ Mary Pipher
(Reviving Ophelia)

forces of life consciousness…

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 image source:  Winds of the Willow

Not too long ago thousands spent their lives as recluses to find spiritual vision in the solitude of nature.  Modern man need not become a hermit to achieve this goal, for it is neither ecstasy nor world-estranged mysticism his era demands, but a balance between quantitative and qualitative reality.  Modern man, with his reduced capacity for intuitive perception, is unlikely to benefit from the contemplative life of a hermit in the wilderness.  But what he can do is to give undivided attention, at times, to a natural phenomenon, observing it in detail, and recalling all the scientific facts about it he may remember.  Gradually, however, he must silence his thoughts and, for moments at least, forget all his personal cares and desires, until nothing remains in his soul but awe for the miracle before him.  Such efforts are like journeys beyond the boundaries of narrow self-love and, although the process of intuitive awakening is laborious and slow, its rewards are noticeable from the very first.  If pursued through the course of years, something will begin to stir in the human soul, a sense of kinship with the forces of life consciousness which rule the world of plants and animals, and with the powers which determine the laws of matter.  While analytical intellect may well be called the most precious fruit of the Modern Age, it must not be allowed to rule supreme in matters of cognition.  If science is to bring happiness and real progress to the world, it needs the warmth of man’s heart just as much as the cold inquisitiveness of his brain.
~ Franz Winkler
(Man: The Bridge Between Two Worlds)

Great Black-backed Gulls

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The seagulls know the truth of it
And scream it overhead
~ David Gray
♫ (Nos Da Cariad) ♫

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Growing up visiting the beaches of Cape Cod I never paid close attention to seagulls, taking them very much for granted.  But in 2011, after reading the book, A Time for Everything, by Karl O. Knausgård, I’ve been drawn to these interesting sea birds. However, it wasn’t until April of last year (2012) that I noticed that there are different kinds of seagulls, when I saw a pair of black-headed gulls perched on a dock at Cumberland Island National Seashore in Georgia.

Now I’m pretty sure the gulls we commonly have on our beach here in Connecticut are American herring gulls. One day last August (2012), Tim & I were having a light supper sitting at a picnic table on the grass at our beach.  We were chatting away and I was watching a gull behind him, who was loitering on the grass, hoping for a handout.  (We never give them anything, however, because our food is not good for them.)  Slowly it dawned on me that this was the biggest gull I had ever laid eyes on!  And yet he had the speckled coloring of an immature one.

Thankfully I had my camera, but when Tim turned around to see what I was so excited about the gull took off.  He came back, however, and began strutting along the sidewalk as if he owned the place.

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Eventually he walked up onto the rocks and posed for me.

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In the pictures above and below I was trying to capture this huge baby standing as close to an adult “regular” gull as I could, to illustrate the difference in size.  There were two of these large gulls present that day, but this was the one that came closer to us.

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Ten days after this gull encounter at the beach we had to take Tim to the hospital in the middle of the night.  At dawn I came home to shower and then return to the hospital.  As I started driving down Bank Street in New London there was a seagull in the middle of the street, feasting on some roadkill.  He didn’t move out of the way of my car until it was almost too late.  When he did take off he didn’t fly away, though.  He kept flying just a few feet in front of my car, flying very low, all the way down Bank Street to Parade Plaza.

If seagull shows up it means it’s time to clean up your home environment and let go of and recycle as much as you possibly can. … Spend a significant amount of time at the seashore meditating, allowing the rhythms of the waves and the wind to be your guiding pulse.
~ Dr. Steven D. Farmer
(Animal Spirit Guides)

It wasn’t until late September, when we took a day trip to Block Island, that we got a clue about the identity of these giant seagulls.  Our tour guide asked us if we had ever seen a great black-backed gull, the largest of all gulls.  Apparently they are showing up on Block Island, too!

After Tim came home from the hospital, but before we went to Block Island, son Nate came up from Georgia to help “clean out our home environment” after Tim’s hospital stay. While he was here we took him to the beach one evening, all excited about showing him the big seagulls.  But they weren’t there that night.  However, we sat with him there for hours, soaking up the healing power of the sea and talking about the wonders of the universe – a memory I will treasure forever.  The following sketch reminds me of some of our conversations, Mr. Logic and Ms. Wonder, chatting with their son…

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image: Sketchnotes: Natalie Batalha on Exoplanets & Love

Since Nate left to go back home we have spotted the great black-backed gulls at the beach again many times, even after Hurricane Sandy and Blizzard Charlotte, so it looks like the two of them are planning to stick around for a while.  And my sister has reported seeing them there a couple of times, too, when she’s gone to the beach to eat a peaceful lunch in her car.  Beverly thought I had to be exaggerating until she saw them for herself!

network of mutuality…

"Portrait of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr." by Betsy G. Reyneau

“Portrait of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.” by Betsy G. Reyneau
National Archives

In a real sense, all life is interrelated.  All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny.  Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.  I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.  This is the interrelated structure of reality.
~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
(Strength to Love)

Happy Christmas!

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My new reindeer ornament!

We will be doing a lot of celebrating this holiday season, planning to enjoy family and five different Christmas trees, including our own.  Tim has a vacation this year so we’re off to visit our children and siblings soon.  But first we had our winter solstice gathering here, enjoying candlelight dining, music and good conversation with dear friends on the longest night of the year.

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On Saturday Tim & I and Dima & Larisa went to celebrate with my sister, brother-in-law, aunt and father at their little house in the Connecticut woods.  My sister has been dreaming of a boxwood Christmas tree and this turned out to be the year she found one!  Isn’t it pretty?  So simple and sweet.  I think she may be planning to plant it outside in the spring.

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The ancient ones were delighted to see Larisa and seemed to be enjoying the festivities, but we didn’t stay too long because they do tire out from all the bustling excitement of having company.  The four of them will be having a quiet Christmas dinner on the 25th.  We’ll be heading for New York, Virginia and Georgia.

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Auntie and Larisa

I brought Dad some clementines and fondly watched him enjoy peeling and eating one.  Sometimes I hesitate to share pictures of him because part of me wants to remember him the way he looked when I was a child…

12.22.12.dadAfter my mother died Dad and I used to drive up to Cape Cod to visit her parents, my beloved grandparents.  He always brought along a little supply of fruit.  As I was the driver, he would cut the fruit into bite size pieces with his pocket knife and share them with me, popping mine into my mouth so I wouldn’t have to take my hands off the steering wheel.

Most of the time Larisa was with us, riding in the back seat, and sometimes Auntie would come, too.  One summer day when we were using the air conditioning in the car, Larisa had brought some chocolate with her.  We stopped at a rest area to use the facilities and she left her chocolate in the car.  When we returned to the car she was very disappointed to find her chocolate melted into a gooey puddle.  But not to worry!  Grandpa took that glob of chocolate and held it out close to the air conditioning vent in the dashboard for many miles until the chocolate had hardened up again.  If his arm got tired he never mentioned it.  That’s grandfather love for you!

We write these words now, many miles distant from the spot at which, year after year, we met on that day, a merry and joyous circle.  Many of the hearts that throbbed so gaily then, have ceased to beat; many of the looks that shone so brightly then, have ceased to glow; the hands we grasped, have grown cold; the eyes we sought, have hid their lustre in the grave; and yet the old house, the room, the merry voices and smiling faces, the jest, the laugh, the most minute and trivial circumstances connected with those happy meetings, crowd upon our mind at each recurrence of the season, as if the last assemblage had been but yesterday!  Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fireside and his quiet home!
~ Charles Dickens
(The Pickwick Papers)

Farewell, Aunt Betty

On Friday November 9, Tim & I drove up to Cape Cod for the day, to attend a memorial service for my Aunt Betty in Harwich.  The last time we were on the Cape was in the spring of 2009, far too long to be away, but so much has been going on in our lives the past few years.

It was so wonderful to see and hug my uncle (my mother’s brother) again, and two of my cousins.  Two of my mother’s cousins were also there with their wives.  We had some great conversations with them all about fond memories and genealogical discoveries.  And my grandparents’ elderly neighbors from across the street were there, too.

As I mentioned before, my Aunt Betty was a woman of very strong faith, and a lovely, gracious, generous lady.  I think she would have been pleased with the simple memorial her son arranged for her.  On a table in front of the altar there was a picture of her, a single rose in a vase, a pencil, and her Bible, complete with her notes in the margins and many underlined scriptures.  My uncle recalled how much she loved roses and how he made sure she received one for every birthday and every wedding anniversary.  And he felt the pencil was a fitting token of her love of writing.

After the reception Tim & I went to the cemetery at the First Congregational Church in Harwich, where a number of my ancestors, my grandparents and my mother lie buried.  I left them each a white rose from the bouquet we were given to take home after the service.  Of course there were tears, there had been tears off and on all day, but also a deep feeling of peace and connection.

We couldn’t leave the Cape without visiting the sea, and so decided to go to the West Dennis Beach, and there felt anew the truth of Isak Dinesen’s words, The cure for anything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea.  The first picture is looking southwest over Nantucket Sound, the second is a bit of the wrack line, and the third is seagull footprints in the sand.