Wind Chilly

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…gulls on the ice…

It seems that this winter has been a harsher one than average, a monotony of record low temperatures and record high amounts of snow. March came in like a lion. It must be a potent combination of cabin fever and mourning, but I still feel like I’m staggering around in a daze. Maybe it will go out like a lamb and things will settle down for a time.

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Grief distracts is strange ways. There’s the usual opening of the refrigerator to get something out of the microwave, but then there’s the trying to deposit a check stub when I meant to deposit the check itself. Cracking an egg into the sink instead of the bowl. I’m starting to wonder if I’m permanently altered. If adorable Zoë wasn’t waking me up each morning for her breakfast of trout and eggs, I wonder if I’d even bother getting out of bed.

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For the life of me I cannot figure out why we decided to go to a cemetery to take pictures last weekend. We just had to get out of the house and it was the only thing we could think of doing outside. Elm Grove Cemetery borders the Mystic River and the wind off the river was biting and icy. My fingers weren’t cooperating they felt so raw.

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But I noticed a theme as I got in and out of the car to warm up. I was looking up at the sky and the trees and the way they framed some of the tall monuments. Breathtaking beauty. There was another theme, too, but that will be for another post…

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There were a couple of poignant scenes close to the ground, too. Perhaps this flag has been weathering the winter since Veterans Day.

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Beloved Mum…

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16 thoughts on “Wind Chilly

  1. I have never figured out why I always go to cemeteries and take photographs, especially when we travel. There’s something solemn and peaceful there, and I love reading markers. Beautiful pics, Barbara.

    • Thank you, Monica. I’m getting so restless to get out on a genealogy research trip and get better photos of stones in previously visited graveyards and new photos of newly located ancestors’ stones. Cemeteries are peaceful places, and the markers tell fascinating stories…

    • I have been feeling so sad and lethargic, Jane, but like you, I’m looking forward to spring and the lift in spirits that will undoubtedly come along with it. :)

  2. I did the same things when I was mourning, including visiting cemeteries. I don’t know why. Perhaps a cemetery is the best place to be when death is still weighing heavily on one’s life. Your photos are beautiful, and project a sense of peace.

    • Thank you so much, Robin. It’s nice to know that you have had a similar experience with grief. Maybe it was that sense of peace I was seeking – the phrase “rest in peace” probably is a sentiment not only for the dead, but for the survivors, too…

  3. Dear Barbara, I believe our feet take us where we’re meant to be. A cemetery is a very peaceful place to wander and from your photos I can see this is a particularly beautiful one. (I love the last picture).

    I felt very sad this morning when I learned of yet another death in our extended family and my feet took me and my personal trainer on a hike in the Verdugo hills behind our house. I came home 3 hours later feeling so much better.

    • So sorry to see that you’ve lost yet another member of your family, Rosie. It often seems as if deaths occur one right after the other at times.

      I know I could use the endorphins from a good walk but it’s been so bitterly cold here this winter and the chill seems to go right into my bones. We finally got our butts to the gym but that’s not nearly as refreshing to the spirit as a walk outside! It must be wonderful having those hills so close by your home…

  4. Nice, evocative pictures and ideas that echo in everybody’s heart… and mind, too. Sometimes, we need a different and place to see things, to locate ourselves in the everyday world in which we live, and strive. In a graveyard, especially in winter, death is felt wholly, deeply white, cool and silently neutral just like white snow. Anybody, literate or illiterate, rich or poor…. will face it, (can be the shadow or shade of Truth?), feel it… and hopefully try to reconcile himself/herself with this dawning reality.. So many things of the like exist, there, around us, without us often being aware of it.. It is a divine sign, an otherworldly call, too… That other part of our own nature… Thank you Barbara. You really a great spirit… an enlightened heart..

    • Thank you so much, Sadok, for all your kind and thoughtful words. Death is what it is, isn’t it? A universal experience that feels so real and shocking. Maybe cemeteries remind us of this, that many have also felt the pangs of loss, and that our own lives are precious and precarious. Have you ever thought of writing a blog? I think I would enjoy reading it, you seem so full of awareness and insight…

    • It must be a “good” thing, since so many of us are drawn to these peaceful sanctuaries. I had no idea there were so many kindred spirits until I started blogging!

  5. Barbara, I love your pictures and the quotes you post with them. Very inspiring. Cemeteries are a wonderful place to go – peaceful and serene. I’m not sure what loss you’ve experienced, but I hope the upcoming Spring and warm weather helps. Take good care.

    • Thank you for stopping by and for your kind words, Lauren. My father died in September and my brother-in-law, who was living with us, died in December, after a nine month battle with cancer. We actually have a window open today and got outside for a walk – so things are looking up a little. :)

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